ER GOU
2024
"Er Gou" means "silly dog" in Chinese, which was the name of my first cat as well.
My mom and dad were divorced when I was a child, and they maintained silence about it. This Escapism hurts me in its subtle way even when I am old enough to understand my parents. Basing on my own experience I drew this picture book, as a memorial of the childhood when we were reluctantly push to adapt the adulthood.
“二狗”是我所养的第一只猫的名字。
在我儿时，父母的婚姻并不和谐，她们也对此维持着一种成年人式的缄口不言。哪怕我已成长到足以理解这，也仍感叹于这种逃避对于孩童之残忍。我基于自身经历创作了这本书，以纪念我们被迫使着习得成年人规则的短暂童年。
Mom and Dad lived apart when I was a kid.
在我还很小的时候，爸爸和妈妈分开住。Mom took me to Dad for a day every week.They seldom talked to other, and it didn't seem odd to me either.
每个周末妈妈都会带我去爸爸那里玩一天。他们很少交谈，我也并不觉得有何不同。
In the evening, I went with Dad to the night market downstairs.
傍晚，我和爸爸一同去逛楼下的夜市。
In the corner we found a dirty kitten. His tail was cut off.
夜市的角落里缩着一只断了尾的小猫。
We brought hime home and called him "Er Gou".
我们把它抱回家，给它起名“二狗”。
Er Gou was my first cat. I loved him so much that I went to Dad's more often.
二狗是我的第一只猫。我喜欢他喜欢得紧，常常跑去爸爸那找他玩。
And Er Gou grew up every time I saw him.
二狗也渐渐地长大。
It was a usual Sunday when Dad and I were giving Er Gou a shower.
一个周末我照常去爸爸那，我们俩给二狗洗了澡。
While drying him, Dad asked casually if Mom was living with someone else.
在擦干他的时候爸爸突然问我，妈妈是不是和一个叔叔住在一起。"Yes." I responded. I heard silence, then looked up but saw Dad in tears.
我嗯了一声，爸爸没再说话。我抬起头，却看见他在流眼泪。
I had never seen Dad cry before. It freaked me out, but didn't really realize what I had said wrong.
我从没见爸爸哭过，一下慌了神。眼泪也莫名地涌了出来。My tears dropped along. The two of us wept silently in the room, while Er Gou meowed in confusion.
两个人在房间里默默地哭，只剩二狗在一旁不知所措地咪咪叫着。
I started to understand something.
我开始明白了些什么。Weeks later, Dad told me Er Gou had gone missing. He broke the leash while Dad was walking him and ran away.
过了段时间，爸爸告诉我二狗跑丢了。
I had never seen Er Gou since then.
这以后我再也没见过二狗。